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  • Writer's pictureThe Farmer's Wife

Hey friend, are you holding your breath?

Why Kefir classes and your breathing have everything in common.


It *actually* happened!

5 months ago, when the silo project was a mere twinkle in our eye, I applied for an educational grant from Midwest Dairy to hold a dairy class in the silo.

While the application I composed spoke of (future) dairy grandeur and finished projects, my eyes saw a shell of an old silo and LOOOOOTS of unfinished field work that pinned the guys down for 16 hour days. When the application asked for a class date, as though wishing on a star, I held my breath, closed my eyes, and picked October 30th.

“It’ll be done by then, right?”, I’d frequently asked the farmers through a nervously large and knowingly clenched grin. On the farm, summer is busy. End of story.

Why is the farmer’s wife making up arbitrary dates for finished projects when there is barely time to sleep at night?

I asked myself the same question.

So - I held my breath and did what I could to help.

Maybe you’re holding your breath today.

Some people can hold their breath for several minutes.

I’m here to tell you that farm wives can hold it for months.

The Guinness Book of World Records actually “allows divers to hyperventilate for up to 30 minutes with pure oxygen before they submerge for their record attempt.” Although the current world record for underwater breath-holding is 22 minutes and some seconds (with pre-hyperventilation), I *basically* beat that record waiting for the fields to be cleared so we could start on the project.

Isn’t this how life is sometimes? Especially in a pandemic.

When the whole world is in panic around us, it’s pretty hard to breathe. Can you imagine if the nightly news reported that, “everything will be just fine, just trust God and breathe”

HA! No way! It’s all about “staying tuned!”, “Just wait!”, “Breaking News!”, “There’s MORE!”, “SCANDALLLLL”, “DON’T go away! We’ll be right BACK!”

Here’s the question though: Does holding our breath change the outcome?

Did stressing about the silo while the farmers worked endless hours HELP the silo get done?


Holding our breath doesn’t change the situation.
Holding our breath only changes us… for the negative

But what if things don't turn out!? What if the project isn't finished?!

Yep. That's a reality of life. And it happened. October 30th came and went like a careless kid who walks into a freshly cleaned house with muddy boots.

While I "sat" on an unfinished silo wondering how much longer it would be, I emailed Midwest Dairy and learned that I could push the class off for a month and still qualify for the grant. Phew!

I took a quick breath.

The funny thing about holding your breath, is that eventually, you pass out.

How helpful are we if we're passed out?

If we're not breathing, we become useless to the people around us.

So here’s your *genius* tip for the day: BREATHE!

What is stressing you? Breathe!

Who are you trusting with your future?


We aren’t in control anyways!

Think about this:

The Business Insider states that the DNA cells contained in your body alone would reach 12 times the distance to Pluto. We’re talking 34 billion miles. ***

I didn't make that up: take 1 minute and 32 seconds to check this video out.

I have a hard time comprehending how big 1 billion is so I looked up how long it would take to count to 1 billion: “If you could count continuously in perfect rhythm, one number per second, without breaks for sleeping, eating, and you know LIVING... It would take 31 years, 251 days, 6 hours, 50 minutes, 46 seconds.” (

Now multiply that by 34 billion (miles)... That means it would take you 1,054 years - NON STOP to just count the MILES of DNA in your body.

Guess what… I’m not holding those 34 billion miles in perfect order and neither are you.

Can you imagine if we were in charge of holding that in order? Suddenly dishes, laundry, distance learning, cleaning, etc sound ….. *eeeeeeeasy peasy* At least I don’t have to hold my own DNA in order! Yikes!

So here’s my question: Who does?

Who is holding your 34 billion miles together right now? Stress and breathless living are not.

34 billion miles of organization must be reconciled by even the most hardened Atheist.

I'll let you in on a little secret... In 23 days, we get to celebrate the coming of our Organizer!!
NO - not Santa; Silly.... Jesus!

Don’t hold your breath so much that you miss the short 23 day countdown to the coolest day ever! It’s coming!

Ok crazy blog lady - you know that Kefir doesn’t really have anything to do with Pluto and Christmas... right?

Or does it?

We need to pause and realize we aren’t in control. Sure I can order my day… but the breath-holding that I’m seeing today needs to stop. Realize there is more to life than the news and politics.

Walk your 34 billion miles of organization to the sink, get a drink, and breathe a little.

ok, But What about Kefir Class?!

To make a long story readably short, it happened! After field work was done, we ran around with our hair on fire working like crazy to get a “classroom” finished. What a ride it has been!

How’d it go? Great! We aren't finished with the silo, but after 5 months of stress and breath holding, it happened! 5 months of mental hashing didn't make me the most excited to teach the class, but I actually really enjoyed it in the end!

Now I want to do it again :)


So what’s your kefir class?
Is something stressing you out today?
Make sure you breathe - lots.

Let’s leave the breath-holding records to Guinness.


*** For those of you who have been following along, I posted a blog here back in April but I actually mis-calculated the diameter of the solar system. I just calculated the distance from us to Pluto…. Which means our DNA is even MORE complex than I wrote about in that blog!


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Ready for some fresh milk?? Yes Please!


Ready for some fresh milk?? Yes Please!

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